


From The Other Side (Red VI)

by sal_si_puedes



Series: Red [6]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Sad, a lot of sadness, but also a lot of love, in the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2408132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_si_puedes/pseuds/sal_si_puedes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after Harvey's death, Scott has a message for Mike.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From The Other Side (Red VI)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for challenge #7 (the other side) at [Marvey Fic Challenges.](marveyficchallenges.tumblr.com) This is my second take on this prompt.
> 
> Heed the warnings. This is very, very sad. But - and that's not a warning - there's also a lot of love!
> 
> It's set a year after [Red III](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2194059).
> 
> I'm [sal-si-puedes](sal-si-puedes.tumblr.com) on tumblr.

"Hey, Dad."

Scott gives Mike a firm hug, pats his back and steps past him into the hallway. He hangs his coat on the coat rack while Mike closes the door behind them. They walk into the kitchen and sit down at the wooden table, their chairs scratching loudly over the floorboards. A large bowl filled with apples is standing in the middle of the table and it's bathed in bright fall sunlight. Scott places a large padded envelope next to himself and runs his fingers through his hair.

"How are you, Dad?"

Mike takes a deep breath and looks up. "You know…" He sighs and casts his eyes down again, watching his fingers trace the lines and dents in the old wood. "I'm not sleeping too well, but that's—" He stops in the middle of his sentence and shakes his head. "I can't believe it's been a year."

"Yeah," Scott nods and reaches across the table for Mike's hands. "I know."

Mike squeezes Scott's hands briefly and sighs. "It's a weird thing, time," he murmurs. "It's as if he was sitting here with me only yesterday and at the same time I can't remember a time when it didn't hurt. It's as if it has been like this forever, even though it just—" He pauses again and gives Scott's hands another squeeze. "I'm sorry, son. I'm alright. I'm fine, I'm—It's just—" He clears his throat and locks eyes with his son. "I'd give anything. Anything."

Scott simply nods again and runs his thumb over the back of Mike's hand.

"After he—" Mike says after a while. "For a time I couldn't even look at you, after he died." He runs his hand over his eyes and draws a shaky breath. "Because you look so much like him."

"I know," Scott mumbles and tries to catch his father's gaze. "Dad, it doesn't matter, I—"

"I'm sorry," Mike says and bites his lips. "I'm sorry I did that to you."

Scott nods and withdraws his hands from Mike's grip. He reaches for the envelope and pushes it across the table towards Mike.

"He asked me to give this to you," he says and when Mike frowns and tilts his head he adds: "A couple of weeks before—" Scott swallows and clears his throat. "Before he passed away. He gave this to me and asked me to give it to you exactly one year after—" 

Mike slowly lifts his hand and reaches out but he withdraws his hand again before his fingers can touch the paper. "I don't—How?"

Scott shrugs and exhales. "I think he must have felt it somehow. He must have known that—I don't know."

Mike swallows and stretches his hand out once more but again he doesn't touch the envelope. "I don't think I can open it," he whispers and Scott nods.

"Dad thought you'd probably say something like that."

Mike looks up into Scott's grinning face. "He told me to tell you to man up and get it over with. And that Wills will be here soon, but no rush, he said, and that you should take your time."

A small smile spreads over Mike's lips as he picks up the envelope and nods. "I'll be outside for a moment." He rises from his chair and straightens his back.

Scott smiles up at him. "Take your time, dad," he says and touches Mike's arm briefly. "And say _Hi_ to him from me."

Mike leaves the kitchen through the back door and steps onto the back patio. He sits down onto the withered bench and closes his eyes, the envelope resting in his lap underneath his hands. He smooths his palms over the crackling paper a couple of times before he takes a deep breath and tears it open. _Like a band aid_ , he thinks. _And it's not true. It hurts even worse like this._

He opens the envelope with shaking hands and takes out what he finds inside. Two tapes in see-through plastic cases, no labels. Mike frowns and turns them around a couple of times before he lays them down onto the bench next to himself. A smaller envelope, plain ivory paper, his name written on the front in Harvey's handwriting and in dark blue ink. _Mike._

 _Man up_ , Mike thinks. _Get it over with._

He takes a deep breath and pries the envelope open. It contains a few sheets of paper covered in Harvey's words. Dark blue ink.

Mike sniffles and unfolds the sheets. He squeezes his eyes shut tightly for a moment before he starts to read.

~

_Mike—_

_I have been gone for a while when you read this. I am sorry I couldn't stay longer. You must know that I would have given anything to stay even a minute longer but I didn't have enough to give, it seems. The Specter men go early and even though I always knew that I wasn't strong enough to stay away from you. I am already 73 years old and that is a miracle in itself. I never thought I would have that much time. I am sorry I didn't have more. I am sorry I hurt you. I am so, so sorry._

_I hope you are reading this here, in our house in the Hamptons. I hope you have kept it. I know you will think of selling it when I am gone but I think you won't be able to do it in the end. I have been happy every single moment of my life with you, Mike, every second since we met, but this is where I am happiest. Here, with you._

_It is still quite early in the morning and you have just left for the city for the day, so I have the whole day to write this and I will take my time. You won't be back before 8 o'clock tonight, so I have a lot of time._

_I miss you. I miss you so much and you have only been gone for half an hour. And you will be back at the end of the day. I can't wait! Breathing is always so much easier when you are with me…_

_The weather is beautiful today and I will go outside now for a moment and take some deep breaths. The salty air and the tang of the sea. My second favorite scent in the world. I will be back soon._

~

Mike let's his hands sink into his lap and wipes his eyes. "I miss you, too," he whispers and takes some deep breaths, shaky at first but calmer with time. "Harvey… So much…"

~

_Did you just do what I think you did? You sentimental idiot, I knew you would. I am back at my desk now and when I look out of the window I can see the tips of the masts of the first sailing boats on the horizon. And I think back to our first sailing trip on the "Eos" and how excited we were and how young and foolish. She's still there, isn't she? Why don't you take her and Scott and Wills for a little cruise later today? And let them take the rudder from time to time – they are better sailors than we are, so they can do it, okay?_

_Mike, there are some things I want to talk to you about. Well, two things, actually. And I don't know how to say this, so I will just say it as it comes to my mind. –_

–

– 

_I was meaning to tell you to go and find someone, to love again, but I can't. I just can't. I know this is selfish and I wish I were bigger than this, stronger, better – but I am just this, a jealous old man. You are mine and I don't share. It is that simple. I can't imagine you with anyone else but me and just the thought of it is like a white-hot knife in my heart. So don't, please, don't. You are mine and nobody else's. (And if you do – don't tell me. I really don't want to commit murder on top of everything else.) (And if you do, be happy. Please, my love, be happy. There, I said it. Finally. I can't believe I did that. You bring out the worst in me, Mike, you always have. I hope you are at least a little proud of me. You should be. I am.)_

_The second thing is the tapes. The first one, the shorter one, is of a song my father wrote for me when I was about sixteen years old. It is called "Reggie's Song" and he never published it because he said it was just for me and for nobody else. It is yours now because it should belong to somebody again. It is yours now but I know it will only be yours for a couple of hours because I know you will give it to Scott. And I cannot begin to tell you how much I love you for that. But I want it to be yours for those few hours and nobody else's._

_The second tape has two songs on it. One is called "From The Other Side" and the other one is called "Pepper and Salt". They are yours and nobody else's. You can listen to them with Scott and Wills but you can never give them away because they were always yours. Like I always was. Like I always am. Like I always will be._

_Yours._

_I wish I were strong enough to spare you the hurt and the pain and the grief and stay longer than you. But even if I were I couldn't. Losing you would kill me. But I know that you are stronger than I could ever be. I know that you can do this. So take some deep breaths and think of me and then go back inside and give those two brats something to eat. I bet they're starving. They're always hungry. Goddamn kids. Tell them I love them, okay?_

_I will close this now even though the mere thought of ceasing to write hurts more than I can bear. But it is already past noon and I want to go to the village and find us something good for dinner tonight. I can't wait for you to come home! I can't wait to hold you in my arms and kiss you breathless again._

_I love you, Mike. I love you so much. I owe everything I am to you. Without you I am nothing. And because of that, I am always with you. And I always will be._

_Harvey_

~

Mike folds the sheets with trembling fingers and stores them away in the pocket of his shirt. The skin of his face itches, his cheeks are wet and his eyes burn. He runs his hand over them and wipes his nose with his sleeve. When his fingertips touch the letter through the thin layer of cloth, his eyes well up again. "Harvey," he whispers. "Oh my god, Harvey. You—you goddamn asshole."

Through the mist of his tears Mike sees something quickly moving up the stairs and heading straight for where he's sitting. He blinks several times and wipes his eyes again. It's a tiny dog, a puppy, happily gnawing away at his shoelaces. 

"Hey," Mike croaks and reaches down to pet the little thing. "Who are you now?" He runs his fingers through the soft fur and his lips curl into a smile. "Hey little fellow, those are my laces, let go…" He picks the puppy up and buries his nose against its forehead. "Who are you, then, hmm? Have you run away from home?"

The puppy yelps merrily and begins to lick Mike's cheeks, wagging its little tail.

"I love you," Mike whispers and kisses the tiny dog's nose. "Yeah, _you_. I love you, you tiny, funny thing."

"I see you've met Salt."

When Mike looks up, Willow is standing in front of him, grinning broadly. She must have walked around the house while he was cuddling the puppy. They lock eyes and for some reason unbeknownst to him, Mike's eyes water once more and he clutches the little dog to his chest. "Is he yours," he asks hoarsely.

"She," Willow corrects and closes the gap between them. She bows down and kisses Mike on the forehead. "And no, she's _yours_."

Mike slowly lifts his head and searches for Willow's eyes again, a questioning look on his face.

"Gift from dad," Willow grins and runs her hand over the puppy's head. "He was very specific about it."

Mike nods and nuzzles Salt's fur. "Can I keep her?"

"Yeah, dad, you can." Willow kisses Mike once more and laughs when Salt nibs at her fingers. "She's yours, remember?" She straightens her back and quickly re-does her pony-tail. "Listen, I'll go inside and say _Hi_ to Scott. You come in and join us whenever you're ready, okay?"

"Yeah," Mike says and watches as Salt curls up in his lap and closes her eyes. "I'll just stay outside for another couple of minutes and then we can—"

"Take your time, dad," Willow smiles and heads for the door leading to the kitchen. "Scott and I have a lot of catching-up to do. Take your time."

"Yeah", Mike repeats and leans back against the back of the bench, carefully stretching his legs a little. Salt begins to snore softly and he can feel the tiny body breathing under his caresses.

"Thank you, Harvey," he whispers into the mild ocean breeze.

"Thank you."

 

~fin~

**Author's Note:**

> Come over and join the fun at [Marvey Fic Challenges](marveyficchallenges.tumblr.com)!!


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